I MAY BE WRONG BUT I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT KIND OF BABY YOU’RE HAVING.

I realize I’m kind of old but I’ve run across postings of some of these gender reveal parties and the first time I saw one, I thought it was a rather stupid idea. I’m not talking about someone who holds up a pink or blue balloon, if that’s your thing or some other equivalent. One would think it would be just as easy and just as much fun to pick up the phone, call Grandma or Aunt Betty Crocker to give them the big news, and get their reaction on a one to one level.

Hell, just put icing on a cupcake if you must. Blue if it’s a boy or pink if it’s a girl.

But I’ve seen some rather huge displays of ridiculousness as if you turned the revelation of whether that brat kicking around inside you is male or female into a production worthy of Disney studios. One reveal stated it was a boy (see photograph), but unfortunately they killed Grandma in the process. No word on whether granny saw the blue smoke just before she bit the dust, having taken a piece of shrapnel for the cause.

And more recently, using a device that creates smoke (blue or pink) started a fire that has so far burned over 7,000 acres and is still going strong.

CNN:

One of the multiple fires burning in California was started during a gender-reveal party, officials said.A “smoke-generating pyrotechnic device” used at the party sparked the El Dorado Fire in San Bernardino County, Cal Fire said in a press release. The fire started Saturday at 10:23 a.m. PT (1:23 p.m. ET) at the El Dorado Park Ranch in Yucaipa and spread from the park north on to Yucaipa Ridge, according to the release.It has since grown to 8,600 acres as of Monday and is just 7% contained, according to the San Bernardino National Forest……

……In 2017, a gender reveal party in Arizona sparked a wildfire that burned nearly 47,000 acres and caused more than $8 million in damage.The expectant father, an off-duty US Border Patrol agent, had packed the target with the explosive Tannerite and shot it with a high-powered rifle. He pleaded guilty in 2018 to a misdemeanor and was sentenced to five years’ probation and ordered to pay almost $8.2 million in restitution.

Science advances onward. But there are consequences. Who knew that in the United States of Stupid, we would turn being able to know the sex of your baby into calamitous events that kill people and destroy property. Not to mention the gignormous hole it put in one man’s wallet.

If you insist on having a gender reveal, take my advice. Just bake a cupcake, buy some icing, blue or pink. Just make sure the oven doesn’t burn your house down in the process.

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